What is it like to have ADHD as an adult? Australians share their highs and lows – ABC News

What is it like to have ADHD as an adult? Australians share their highs and lows
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Scott Wynands was taken aback when his psychologist asked him a "bizarre" question.
"Have you ever tried speed?"
He had tried the drug once in his 20s, after being offered it after working a series of long hours.
"I said, 'stuff it, I am going for it' and I had a really productive day and went to bed."
His psychologist told him most people weren't able to go to sleep after taking speed.
"And that's what started my trip down the ADHD path," Mr Wynands said.
Scott was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 43.
ADHD affects one in 20 Australians. That's 1.2 million people.
Tasmanian parents worried that their child might have ADHD are being forced to go interstate for a diagnosis because of a lack of suitable clinicians in the state. Sometimes, that's just the start of their problems. 
It's a neurodevelopmental disorder characterised by patterns of inattentive, impulsive, and sometimes hyperactive behaviour — and is frequently accompanied by emotional regulation challenges.
A Senate committee is due to report back shortly on its inquiry into ADHD.
Scott and others have shared their thoughts on what it's like living with the condition, the positives, and what would make their lives better.
"At first, with my diagnosis, I was like: 'Am I me? Or is my personality a property of my symptoms?'" he said.
Looking back, there were signs he had the condition when he was young.
"I was very hot tempered, very inquisitive — put a sandwich in a VHS player once."
His struggles continued as he got older.
"It's affected relationships and also even just general interactions with people. I always feel the constant need to explain myself all the time," he said.
"My first job was a bartender in Sydney. I did really really well but I'd lose my temper a lot."
He wonders whether he could have made a career based on his early interest in computers if he had been diagnosed and treated for ADHD earlier.
"I've always been a quitter. I quit everything I do, pretty much. I thought it was just a lack of willpower."
He suspects his late mother also had ADHD.
"She was one of the only people who actually understood me and she led her whole life without a diagnosis," he said.
"That's a multi-generational scar without help so in a way, I am glad I've got some kind of answer to it but it's a long process."
ADHD Australia says the condition can run in families and have an impact on family dynamics when multiple people are living with it.
For Scott, accessing medication has also been a long process. He's been waiting for five months so far, partly because of a pre-existing medical condition and partly because his psychiatrist is in a different state.
He wants to start a course in counselling but feels that without the medication, he might be unable to complete it.
"All I want to do is help others who are struggling."
Scott is sharing his story to create a greater awareness about the condition and highlight some of the positives of having ADHD.
"The hyper-focus is great if I can get the hyper-focus to last," he said.
"I've got lots of talents, from break-dancing … writing stories, fixing computers."
He hopes as time goes on, there will be a greater acceptance of people with ADHD.
"I've lost jobs because of ADHD, because of misunderstandings."
Fraser Nuttall was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 55.
His wife Lydia Nuttall said it had been an interesting journey in the five years since her husband's diagnosis.
"It was a real curveball for both of us," Mr Nuttall said.
Fraser grew up feeling other people managed life better than he did.
His old school reports said he could do better if he concentrated more.
"I knew there was something different about it me, I didn't know what it was."
Fraser has worked as an engineer and project manager but he said while he enjoyed his jobs, he would eventually grow tired of them.
Being diagnosed with ADHD late in life had provided answers to many of the issues he had struggled with, as well as highlighting missed opportunities.
"Jobs that I've had where I if I could have had perhaps some sort of accommodations or understood myself better … could have made a huge difference — but it is what it is."
But Fraser believes having ADHD means he would take on challenging experiences, like working on a peace-keeping mission in East Timor.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, he completed a fast-track business law degree.
"That hyper-focus allowed him to get those assignments that normally would take 13 weeks out in six and a half weeks at a time — so that's been an absolute winner," Ms Nuttall said. 
The couple would like to see greater access to reliable information about ADHD, as well as education for employers.
"So there is support at the workplace rather than stigma — that would be really, really good," she said.
A survey conducted by ADHD Connect Australia found 83 per cent of respondents said they felt there was a stigma when discussing ADHD with others.
The Nuttalls are also calling for counselling for couples to help cope with ADHD in a relationship.
"For us, we're just completely stubborn. We don't want to be a statistic because there is a high statistic of relationship failure," Ms Nuttall said.
"There's been some really, really awful times and there's been some really, really good times … when we've been in conflict, it's been like a hurricane goes through the house sometimes.
"It would be nice for someone to be a calming element with strategies and just some understanding of how ADHD affects how you react to people, or how you speak to people."
Sarah Moss, 32, was diagnosed with ADHD when she was five years old.
"People would think I was just a naughty kid and I was out of control," Ms Moss said.
Her parents have been her greatest support.
"I wouldn't have got to where I am with my ADHD, I wouldn't have accepted it as much as I have, if it wasn't for my mum and dad.
"They never judged me. They never made me feel like I should be ashamed. Having ADHD is a strength, not a weakness — it's a gift."
While she struggled with written work at school, she's thrived doing practical work like working in hospitality.
She would like to highlight that many people with ADHD suffer from rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD).
RSD can co-exist with ADHD and describes the severe emotional pain that some people with the condition feel when they perceive rejection or criticism.
"If someone says, 'oh, you're crazy' or 'you're annoying' or 'you talk a lot' — talking is one of my strengths but also one of my weaknesses.
"If you make a mistake, you beat yourself up over it."
Sarah went off medication as a teenager but resumed in her late 20s.
"[It was] to go back and level my head and my mind and get rid of the haze. It doesn't slow it down but it does make it a bit more clearer."
But she said the cost of medication could be a struggle.
"A lot of people don't want to go on medication because of that … it's going to cost them a couple of hundred bucks a month."
ADHD Australia says on average, parents with a child with ADHD spend about $5,500 a year on medication, counselling and treatment, and adults about $3,400.
Sarah would like to see greater supports for people with ADHD in schools, perhaps through the NDIS, "rather than just say, you guys can just struggle on your own".
She also has advice for parents who suspect their children may have ADHD.
"Do what my parents did: listen and fight, don't back down, because that child needs a voice."
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